Love gives us safety, peace, relaxation, happiness, freedom and health
What does "Do the Right Thing" mean: Do things out of love and respect of others, would I ask myself, my daughter, sister or mother do it for another man? if not, why should I do it to another person?
- Feel people's desperation, hurt, hunger, loss, fear, insecurity, loneliness, rejection, and hopelessness, so you don't unknowingly/knowingly add more pain to them!
- After you totally forget yourself, then your self pity, envy, greed, loneliness and anger will magically disappear, and you will become a free and independent man/woman.
- You will also feel the love from your creator: whatever God gives you is the best, most beautiful and special, people that God put on your path is for you to love them, not to hurt them.
- To make the world a better place, the only way is to love.
- Well intended Massages give people comfort and relaxation, so massages can be used to disolve bitterness/grudges/anger.
The secret of life long happiness only lies in seeking God.
We will not find long lasting true love in humans, may it be spouses, children or friends. Sometimes, people can give us temporary/glimpse of true love, but we will end up suffer withdrawal syndrome if they take it away from us.
Driven by sexual desires, we start seeking stranger's love at very young age before we understand how to give true unconditional love, and how to accept true unconditional love.
And we were trapped in disappointments, hurt, pain, rejection/abandonment from others, and giving the same sufferings to others throughout our lives.
First seek love and happiness from God. There is no pain only true joy and happiness if we do so.
God gives us beautiful life/body/flowers/sky/moon/landscape/oceans/pets, wisdom, fresh air, water, foods, intelligence, abilities, etc and etc.
The most handsome guy can't give 0.000001% of what God can give to a girl, why feel heart broken if you can't get a guy's attention? Look to the invisible most magnificant "boyfriend" in the sky, he is there for you always.
It is true that God can't give you kisses, hugs, sex, can't take you to restaurants/vacations, can't give you a fancy car/house, but the pain/damage can be long lasting after short lived pleasure in a loveless relationship.
So seek true love first,
don't forget you always have God's true love as backup if you can't find it in man/woman
or been rejected or abandoned by man/woman. You should treat man/woman's rejection as no big deal. If you are rejected, avoid seeing the person will make recover very fast, that is why don't date anybody from work/school/church.
I gurantee you that our weak mind will fail our work/school/spirituality if we do mix up serious businesses with personal emotions.
Even with love, in a happy marriage, only 10% time a couple spent pleasing each other, 90% time is hard work, because of love, pain is worth the effort.
Why ordinary people divorce? 1. There is no love anymore, the pain becomes unbearable. 2, or, there is no pleasure anymore, love alone is insufficient to motivate hardwork. 3, Worse, neither love nor pleasure is there.
It really takes a saint to stay married to somebody he/she doesn't love.
Pleasure includes sexual, financial, social status, fame and power.
Smart spiritual people downplay pleasure and stay away from it purposefully, but if you are lucky enough to be given true love from a girl/guy, then go for it,
develop the love with patience first before jump to pleasure and ruin it quickly.
There is nothing wrong with seeking pleasure, e.x. David, he was very handsome and successful, God didn't mind giving him a lot of wives and concubines for him to enjoy,
then because David made pleasure his first priority, he brought sword into his house for generations.
If you date and marry somebody from the same church, then the pressure and social shame is much greater if the marriage fails, we are not perfect, so marriage is not perfect,
so it is impossible to demand marriage to be successful. There have been horrible cover ups of unhappy marriages, abuses of spouses, kids and families in churches.
It is a lie if somebody says he has a magic pill to heal all the unhappy marriages.
Many times, divorce is the only savior of the broken hearted.
Looking for love from man/woman is a roller coaster ride, buckle up and don't get heart attacks! Or don't seek it but pray it will drop from sky, strangely enough,
in 99% cases the girl/guy that you are dreaming of do drop from sky.--So, Have Faith! Your heavenly father knows exactly what you want, and he doesn't forget it,
and he will drop him/her in front you when the time is right.
But, if God doesn't drop you a dream girl/guy to be with, then you should feel even more special because God is keeping you for himself, look at Jesus and 12 disciples, none of them were married or had girl friends!
Luke 6:27-36: Love for Enemies
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
What is Love, how do I love is really loving?
Whenever we talk about Love, people think of sex. No, No, No, Love of sex or food or money or an activity or an object is narcissism, still only to satisfy oneself.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
In another word, if you treat others with patience, kindness, humulity, respect, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, help, honesty, trust, faith, support, protection and responsibility, then you are a loving person.
Why God is Love and Love is the solution to every problem.
Have you ever wondered how life came into existence? When you go to nature then you see the creator. We humans, only want to make things that can benefit us.
Nobody wants to draw a beautiful painting or compose a stunning music or create a search engine just to give away for free. But this creator definitely creates and gives away sophisticated lives for free.
But once created, every creature is busy on its own life and not only doesn't benefit the creator but totally forget about him.
Even more crazy is that despite being forgotten and unappreciated, the creator sent his son to suffer and die for his creation and save humans from eternal suffering.
This is uncomprehensible unless you think from the point of a parents: parents give birth to their kids, and they give love to the kids and train the kids to love them and love each other,
but kids instead hurt and kill each other for money/power. Because you love them dearly, instead of punishing them, you sacrifice yourself to save their lives.
Whenever you are stuck or frustrated or depressed, try open your heart and love, then your problem and depression will be solved.
Definition of Perfect Love
Don't ever get cosmetic surgery, whatever God gives you is the best and most beautiful to you, don't let any human hands alter your body.
Don't sleep around, it is very suffering and shameful to get STD. It is healthier if we try out different foods, but if we sleep around we get STD! So sexuality is not meant to be promiscuous.
Being unpopular and alone is better than being tormented by STD and the worry of getting STD.
All kinds of substance abuse and addiction of course damage our mind and body, why want to try them out then live in suffering?
The danger of addiction is much bigger than the benefit of alcohol so don't even sip one drop of it, if alcohol is essential to our lives, God would have given us hunger feeling for alcohol, so I don't think alcohol is necessary.
A love story
When I first moved to Durham, I got a request for outcall massage. I was instructed to enter the residence in a very discrete way, inside, the house was artfully decorated, clean and cold as the host.
During the massage, I was told that I didn't do a good job, he was apparently annoyed and disatisfied. I felt bad that I couldn't do any better.
After he lost his profitable job he had to sell his nice home and came to me for massage, but the attitude was still cold, distant,picky and proud.
But recently, he completely changed to a very warm and loving person: very content and expressing gratitude very easily during massage, smile, hug and say "love you" easily to every stranger ....
What has just happened?!
He abandoned his new born at age 18, then went on living a self-centered life for another 40 years. Recently, his abandoned son forgave him and shared the little grand-daughter with him,
the little sweet girl is always very excited to see him, hug and kiss him and keep on saying "Grandpa, I have been really missing you. I am so happy to see you!"
His icy heart was completely melted. He also started self-discipline and lost a lot weight, because there is so much hope and love to live for now, he want to live happily and healthily to be loved and love others!
Secret of Happiness
Let go of things that you fall in love with or deem important to you: may it be your kid, your family, lover, wealth, reputation, work, or friend or pet.
Be in peace with yourself, if nice things come along great, if not, doesn't matter and don't care.
Have Faith in God, regardless how big is your loss, remember there is always a reason that things happen the way they are, Just let God handles it for you, you just go on enjoy your life happily and worry free.
Last night 10pm, 2 Muslim guys came for massage, I was a little nervous and keep on telling them I only provide professional massage hoping they turn around and leave.
But they really needed massage after a long distance drive so they stayed, when we get accustomed to each other, we started to chat, and they told me things that are quite opposite from what I have heard of before.
They said Muslims like to have a lot of kids and love them and raise them properly, more kids means more power. All Muslim kids must take good care of their aging parents.
I asked: Muslims don't abuse kids? And kids don't abuse their old parents?
They said, No, abolutely not, if kids are raised and loved right, kids return the love and care to their parents in the same way they received it.
It is forbidden to send parents to nursing homes(Muslims can really save American government a lot of money -:))
They said Muslim women are treated like queens with full respect. Even though multiple wives are allowed, but 80% Muslims only have 1 wife. One of the guy has 2 wives.
He said Muslim guys have to get permission from their first wife to marry second wife, if first wife says no, then he can't marry second wife.
He said they marry second wife usually is because first wife has health issues or second wife lost her husband.
But women can't marry multiple husbands though.!-:)
The reason that Muslim women wear burqa is because women's beauty is only for her husband.
They both are from Yemen. They are uncle and nephew, uncle owns a gas station and nephew is working there. nephew moves boxes very fast at work thus got painful shoulders, nephew came here 14 years ago still has an accent.
Uncle doesn't express his feeling very much but it can be easily told that he works the hardest. I didn't care and ask them how they got into this country, at that moment, all I could picture was their hardworking swift moving bodys with sweat and aches all over,
and their aspirations to make better lives for their families and kids---I really like these people, I sincerely prayed and hoped that they will be successful in their pursuit of American dreams.
They said I should visit Muslim neighborhood to see Muslims and all other ethnicities live together in harmony, peace and happiness. The muslim terrorists/extremists are just like the crusaders/hypocrites in Christianity.
I had a young roommate from Bangladesh, who is very self sufficient.
Just arrived in Durham for 1 week, he found a local mosque, then he goes there to get his dinner every day. The dinner is provided by local Muslims and delicious.
He is not very religious and think that the imam is not very educated, so he goes there mainly for food, companion and communion.
He said anybody is welcomed to go there to have dinners except women and men are in separate rooms, so hope to find girl/boyfriend is not possible, which is different from Christian churches.
When you go to mosque, you need to dress modestly, shorts and mini-skirts are forbidden, which is different from Christian churches also.
---Apparently, Muslims are not all very serious and rigid about religion as we have heard of.
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